“Hmm, I wonder, what’s the best way to hold at bay a gilded monarch-oligarch hustling a nationalistic playboy fantasy?”

“I say, I’ve a dolly idea! How’s about gaining support of an old world aristocratic monarch with such legitimate title?”

“But, good sir, aren’t we a flourishing democracy? Perhaps we should roll out their democratically elected leaders first?

“Bah, their electeds are repugnant, directionless, unpopular, and enjoy entertaining monarchical fascists with a titillation for the ancient dynastic flair of scorched deserts.”

“So, then, am I to believe this showy royal groveling and pageantry is to employ a nuclear power’s support? Staving off a supremacist southern nation wishing it could live central to its endless wars in the middle east?”

“But of course. A King's got hot submarines ready to strike the heart of empire - we are the rebels now! Stamp and post that on a bill in this democracy. But I’ll be damned to be contained by a suffocating golden dome of stupidity!”

“Sometimes, my good sir, I do reflect, it’s no wonder oligarchs come to expect so much,

When we can barely free ourselves of these glitzy vestiges of an entitled feudalism.”

“That’s a damned thing to say – personally, I love a rich lineage’s blathering wordplay.

I was their banker you see, so my dealings into their well-bred world is quite esteemed,

And dare I say, no festivity is better than a regal crown floating round an elected room!”

“As you say, sir, I’ll inform the state media to roll out the long gold carpets,

And hopefully the well-funded talking heads will glaze baffled in surreality,

Perhaps it will convince people of democracy's spectacle without reform.”

“Indeed, by Jove, you’ve got it, Popes and Kings, give the people all manner of medieval thing!

Make it a big show! Perhaps I’ll be knighted for stalwart endeavour, or get to build a lofty castle.

I can imagine my title; 'Good Sir Financeer of the North Lands, Regent Gasser to the Old World'."

"Yes, yes,

Who abandoned democratic motions at start of reign, as your predecessor also early broke faith.'"